Stopping quickly in The Ivy’s valet area, movie star Bran Barclay stepped from his plaid Tesla. His neon smile lit up the grey L.A. horizon.

He was from California, I was from Texas and we met in the bush of Australia as kids. And then we met again when our lives were almost over.

I pulled at my seatbelt but couldn’t get it loose and it was beginning to choke me as I felt water making its way into the cab of the truck.

“How can I ever win?” he asked. “By taking me roughly in the barn?” I said as I circled him on my horse, luring him with my purple prose.